Guys pls answer a difficult question for me.?

this is quite difficult for me to write,i began a relationship with a guy and soon into it i had some very close family relations die and began to suffer depression,i started to drink very heavily and as a result we split up,i couldnt accept it was over as i looked to him for the only bit of happiness in my life at that time i became a bit obsessive and behaved totally out of character which caused him to chang his number,i have since got back to my old self and no longer drink,i called his old cell on the off chance he listened to his msages to appologise for the way i acted,well he called back n basically said he accepts the app but doesnt want to be mates then i see him in the club and he trys to talk to me all night then calls me 2 weeks later and comes over we sleep together .2 wks later we arrange for him to come over and he doesnt show and i still not heard anything been 6 wks now.i left a couple msg but still nothin i feel so hurt and cant stop thinking about him.y come back???